Just over three months since finishing my cancer treatments and I'm getting my energy back a little more each day. After twice starting and then stopping my morning runs due to extreme fatigue, I've started again this week. It is really amazing how much harder it seems this time. Due to bad weather, I've been running this week on a treadmill and have been shocked at how slow I'm running compared to previous 3 month recovery time.
My next cystoscope is on April 29th. With an all clear, I will then be on an annual cycle of cystoscopies for the rest of my life. Four years ago, when I was diagnosed, having a cystoscope annual for the rest of my life seemed like an ordeal that I will hate and never get to use to. After being scoped 10 times in the last 4 years and with my drug regiment of a pain pill and a valium before each procedure, it certainly not as bad as it seems.
I don't know if it all cancer survivors or just me, but even after all I've gone through, it seems a little surreal. I guess that is the great thing about our memories. We dwell on the positive much more than the negative. I've finished this long segment of my journey through cancer and come out the better for it. Hopefully, people suffering from bladder cancer will be able to go through my blog and find information and inspiration.
Friday, March 20, 2015
Thursday, December 18, 2014
27 Treatments Complete
I finished my 27th and last BCG Treatment. In many ways the day was quite surreal. I knew that it was the final treatment and that I should be celebrating, but the 3rd treatment in each series of three hits you the hardest and there is was very little time to sit back and reflect on what is soon coming to an end.
This last series of treatments had the BCG potency cut back to 50% of the normal dose. This was done to lessen the side effects. The first and second treatments were very normal and had side effects hit me at the normal time. The three main side effects were 1) chills, 2) fatigue and 3) bleeding in the bladder. The bleeding in the third treatment went about 20 hours, which is about 17 hours longer than normal. It has finally stopped this morning. A fourth side effect hit me yesterday and it can be best described as chemo brain. I was trying to remember my country club member number during the day and I could never get the four digit number correct. I knew that I was close, but not until this morning did I actually remember the number. This was quite troubling to me, considering that I've known and used this number almost weekly for over 5 1/2 years. This fuzzy brain effect is why I don't answer business emails during treatment days.
It's been a long, long journey. I've endured 1 CT Scan, 2 surgeries, 10 cystoscopies and 27 BCG treatments. I've tried to always keep my goal in mind during these 45 months of not wasting this cancer. Trying to keep grinding away until the end. That we are here to fight for our lives and to do whatever it takes to stay on this earth to be with our loved ones and draw closer to our God. I've come to grips with my mortality 45 months ago and have seen friends die from cancer and other beat cancer back. I'm hopeful for a long life without cancer and look forward to spending many more years with my wife, family and friends.
I don't know when it is finally going to hit me that I'm through with the treatments. I've been living with this stress for so long, it probably is going to be in January when I'm on the beach in Hawaii. I'm looking forward to this two week celebratory trip and plan on getting some sun, playing some golf and eating some great food with the love of my life.
This last series of treatments had the BCG potency cut back to 50% of the normal dose. This was done to lessen the side effects. The first and second treatments were very normal and had side effects hit me at the normal time. The three main side effects were 1) chills, 2) fatigue and 3) bleeding in the bladder. The bleeding in the third treatment went about 20 hours, which is about 17 hours longer than normal. It has finally stopped this morning. A fourth side effect hit me yesterday and it can be best described as chemo brain. I was trying to remember my country club member number during the day and I could never get the four digit number correct. I knew that I was close, but not until this morning did I actually remember the number. This was quite troubling to me, considering that I've known and used this number almost weekly for over 5 1/2 years. This fuzzy brain effect is why I don't answer business emails during treatment days.
It's been a long, long journey. I've endured 1 CT Scan, 2 surgeries, 10 cystoscopies and 27 BCG treatments. I've tried to always keep my goal in mind during these 45 months of not wasting this cancer. Trying to keep grinding away until the end. That we are here to fight for our lives and to do whatever it takes to stay on this earth to be with our loved ones and draw closer to our God. I've come to grips with my mortality 45 months ago and have seen friends die from cancer and other beat cancer back. I'm hopeful for a long life without cancer and look forward to spending many more years with my wife, family and friends.
I don't know when it is finally going to hit me that I'm through with the treatments. I've been living with this stress for so long, it probably is going to be in January when I'm on the beach in Hawaii. I'm looking forward to this two week celebratory trip and plan on getting some sun, playing some golf and eating some great food with the love of my life.
Friday, December 5, 2014
Treatment #25 is Done.
After two weeks in a row of failing to have my treatment, due to having too many blood cells in my urine, I finally had no blood show up in the testing. I was given antibiotics after the second failed test and it certainly did the trick of clearing out any infection that may have been causing the blood cells.
The installation of the BCG was the easiest of all the treatments that I've had. Getting catherized is never a pleasant procedure and so I decided to change my mindset this time. Instead of dreading the procedure and trying to relax, I decided to just process the feeling of the catheter differently. What this means was to just realize that the feeling of the catheter during the whole process was the normal feeling of the procedure and to follow it in its journey. It's not so much that it is painful, but that it just feels different and unpleasant. It worked this time and we'll see if it make a difference next time.
The two hour holding time was spent rocking as the weather was a little too cool to go for a walk. The time did not fly by and I was counting the minutes at the end as it was getting a little unbearable. The six hours of flushing the bladder went without any blood (as is normal for a first treatment) and I drank about 1 1/2 gallons of water and lemonade during that time. I was able to eat some grilled chick from Chik fil A this time and that was very unusual to want solid food with all the fluids I was pushing through my stomach.
Lastly, I have to give kudos to my buddy, Dana, who helped to attend to my needs during the 8 hours. Nancy was out of town due to a my treatment schedules not going as planned and Dana agreed to fill her spot for me. When you are diagnosed with cancer, we all have friends that tell you that they are willing to help you whenever you have a need. Well, I asked Dana to help with the unpleasant duties of flushing the toilet 15 minutes after I filled it with BCG laced urine and 2 cups of bleach. He did it without complaint. He was a great help with the flushing, getting me to and from the doctor's office and running to get me lunch. Most importantly, I enjoyed having him to talk to during treatment day and being my friend since we first met in Atlanta in 1987.
The installation of the BCG was the easiest of all the treatments that I've had. Getting catherized is never a pleasant procedure and so I decided to change my mindset this time. Instead of dreading the procedure and trying to relax, I decided to just process the feeling of the catheter differently. What this means was to just realize that the feeling of the catheter during the whole process was the normal feeling of the procedure and to follow it in its journey. It's not so much that it is painful, but that it just feels different and unpleasant. It worked this time and we'll see if it make a difference next time.
The two hour holding time was spent rocking as the weather was a little too cool to go for a walk. The time did not fly by and I was counting the minutes at the end as it was getting a little unbearable. The six hours of flushing the bladder went without any blood (as is normal for a first treatment) and I drank about 1 1/2 gallons of water and lemonade during that time. I was able to eat some grilled chick from Chik fil A this time and that was very unusual to want solid food with all the fluids I was pushing through my stomach.
Lastly, I have to give kudos to my buddy, Dana, who helped to attend to my needs during the 8 hours. Nancy was out of town due to a my treatment schedules not going as planned and Dana agreed to fill her spot for me. When you are diagnosed with cancer, we all have friends that tell you that they are willing to help you whenever you have a need. Well, I asked Dana to help with the unpleasant duties of flushing the toilet 15 minutes after I filled it with BCG laced urine and 2 cups of bleach. He did it without complaint. He was a great help with the flushing, getting me to and from the doctor's office and running to get me lunch. Most importantly, I enjoyed having him to talk to during treatment day and being my friend since we first met in Atlanta in 1987.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
The Last Three Treatments Are Set To Begin (well sort of)
With my successful and clear cystoscope two weeks ago, I was set to begin the first of my last three BCG treatments today. But, similar to a year ago, I've had to postpone the treatment by a week, due to blood cells in my urine sample this morning.
We don't have any explanation to why the blood is showing up again, but we can rule out cancer in the bladder lining, because of the clear results that I received two weeks ago from the cystoscope. When blood is showing up in the test, you can get very sick from treatment, so we will take this week off and try to start up the treatments again next week. It is a little depressing to have this setback, when you get yourself all geared up mentally to spend the next 8 hours doing battle against this disease.
We don't have any explanation to why the blood is showing up again, but we can rule out cancer in the bladder lining, because of the clear results that I received two weeks ago from the cystoscope. When blood is showing up in the test, you can get very sick from treatment, so we will take this week off and try to start up the treatments again next week. It is a little depressing to have this setback, when you get yourself all geared up mentally to spend the next 8 hours doing battle against this disease.
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Half Strength BCG Makes A Big Difference
I'm happy to say that my installation was 100% better than last week. There were no issues at all with the catheter and that was a huge relief after what happened last week. Hopefully, it was from better relaxation on my part.
The BCG strength was cut in half for this treatment, due to the bad side effects that I had during treatment number 21. BCG treatment effects and side effects are cumulative in nature as you continue to bombard the inner lining of the bladder with TB. Not only do the three treatments in a row have a cumulative effect, but so does all the other treatments over the last three years. Dr. T had stated that we could either stop the treatments all together because of the side effects or cut back on the strength. He was very impressed with getting through the first 21 treatments and said that we have gotten further into the treatments than most. I decided that I would go with the half strength on the 24th (last of the three in May) and see what happens.
What happened was that instead of a very intense 6 hours (after the two hours of holding the BCG), it was only intense for the first 3 hours. Still the constant running to the bathroom during the start, but the last 3 hours were much less in the trips to the toilet. I still had a sore bladder at the end of the day, but it was much more manageable this time. The bleeding was still evident throughout the day, but it was at the regular levels versus what I experienced in session 21 last fall.
It is not unusual to cut back the strength as I have seen in posts at www.gotbladdercancer.blogspot.com the author had the lower dosage recommended by Dr. Lamm himself. I feel that the key is to try to get to the end and if the last of the three treatments in a rotation has a lessor does, that is okay if it gets us to the end.
My next Cystoscope will be on October 29th and then the final 3 treatments will be in November. I've started my research on a two week Hawaiian vacation for the following February.
The BCG strength was cut in half for this treatment, due to the bad side effects that I had during treatment number 21. BCG treatment effects and side effects are cumulative in nature as you continue to bombard the inner lining of the bladder with TB. Not only do the three treatments in a row have a cumulative effect, but so does all the other treatments over the last three years. Dr. T had stated that we could either stop the treatments all together because of the side effects or cut back on the strength. He was very impressed with getting through the first 21 treatments and said that we have gotten further into the treatments than most. I decided that I would go with the half strength on the 24th (last of the three in May) and see what happens.
What happened was that instead of a very intense 6 hours (after the two hours of holding the BCG), it was only intense for the first 3 hours. Still the constant running to the bathroom during the start, but the last 3 hours were much less in the trips to the toilet. I still had a sore bladder at the end of the day, but it was much more manageable this time. The bleeding was still evident throughout the day, but it was at the regular levels versus what I experienced in session 21 last fall.
It is not unusual to cut back the strength as I have seen in posts at www.gotbladdercancer.blogspot.com the author had the lower dosage recommended by Dr. Lamm himself. I feel that the key is to try to get to the end and if the last of the three treatments in a rotation has a lessor does, that is okay if it gets us to the end.
My next Cystoscope will be on October 29th and then the final 3 treatments will be in November. I've started my research on a two week Hawaiian vacation for the following February.
Thursday, May 22, 2014
Treatment Off To A Rough Start
Treatment #23 did not start out very well. Getting the catheter into my bladder was a major effort and took three tries. During the attempts my mind raced back to treatment #8, where it also took three tries and the pain of the attempts along with the high residual pain for an additional two days. Well, Dr. T did eventually get the catheter and medicine into my bladder and it left me feeling very light headed. Dr. T left the room and said that he would see me in another week and somewhere between trying to get off the table and get to my pants, I blacked out. I came too laying on the floor and on my side. I looked down and saw that I was unclothed from the waist down and deducted that I had fainted. After getting my clothes on, I got the attention of my doctor and he had the nurses get me some water and started to take my blood pressure. I remember that my second blood pressure test was 80/52, which is very low. After getting Nancy to come back and passing my final blood pressure test, I was released to go home.
The normal 2 hours of rocking and 6 hours of drinking and peeing went very well after such a horrible start. I did not have any appetite, but did eat dinner and some freshly baked chocolate cookies. Thankfully, I've had no residual pain from the three attempts of the installation and now a day later, my only issue is a sore right side of my head that evidently struck the floor quite hard from the fall.
Next week is the last treatment until November. We have decided that we will cut the strength of the BCG in half, so that we do not experience the large amount of bleeding that we had in the third treatment last fall. The third of the three treatments always has the most complications due to the cumulative effect of three treatments in a row.
Please pray for an easy installation next week and a minimum of side effects and pain.
The normal 2 hours of rocking and 6 hours of drinking and peeing went very well after such a horrible start. I did not have any appetite, but did eat dinner and some freshly baked chocolate cookies. Thankfully, I've had no residual pain from the three attempts of the installation and now a day later, my only issue is a sore right side of my head that evidently struck the floor quite hard from the fall.
Next week is the last treatment until November. We have decided that we will cut the strength of the BCG in half, so that we do not experience the large amount of bleeding that we had in the third treatment last fall. The third of the three treatments always has the most complications due to the cumulative effect of three treatments in a row.
Please pray for an easy installation next week and a minimum of side effects and pain.
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
Treatment #21
I thought that with about 7 months between treatments that today would be an easy day, but I was wrong. Installation and the two hours holding period were pretty routine. The next six hours were just as intense as the last treatment with the only difference was the bleeding levels were below normal. Although 12 hours after the installation I was still passing blood.
The best news was that I had no chills today and wanted to eat at the end of the day. I'm very thankful that I only have two treatments to go this month and three more in November. Also, thankful for the answer to prayer today that the bleeding would ease up.
We go again next Wednesday morning...
The best news was that I had no chills today and wanted to eat at the end of the day. I'm very thankful that I only have two treatments to go this month and three more in November. Also, thankful for the answer to prayer today that the bleeding would ease up.
We go again next Wednesday morning...
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